Lama Mark talked about stories.

• We had to note all the stories we told ourselves.
• All the stories we’ve brought in to.
• And the major stories going on in our being: our feeling tone.

- Nipa Doshi, furniture designer

The phrase for day two.  I keep remembering I have this challenge, and then my mind floods with with ‘things to do.’  My list keeps getting longer.  I keep apologizing to people for being a day behind, a week behind, so far behind.  I realize I have four jobs, and it was almost a mistake getting into this position.  I coach, I write books, I work full time, and I coach coaches:  but I haven’t coached myself.

I’m completely intolerant and frustrated I’m so behind, and have not one second to myself.  I foolishly thought I can rush progress.  But our natural laws don’t happen like that.  You can force things.  You have to be guided by the middle way that is maximum progression with maximum balance.  This day taught me I’ve tipped over the edge.  It’s time to pull back to the middle of the bell curve and be more than a list ticker.

It’s time to untangle.

The challenge:

“Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.”

- Og Mandino

Since coming back to New Zealand my practice has been hit and miss.  It is more difficult to get into a study group here as there are a limited number of teachers to take classes.  I’m am extremely impatient person.  I want everything to happen: now.  I always have a massive list of things to do and prioritize this over more important things: often.  This is where the study group was good.  It shook me out of my habits with weekly homework making me look at life differently.  Yesterday I stumbled upon Gwen Bell’s new e-book Digital Warriorship.  Gwen is a social media expert and in this great read talks about discernment, disconnecting and many other Buddhist applications to the digital world.  The above quote came from this.

I read it, and stopped.  Wondering… could I do that for homework, for a week?

Instant resistance came up: “I don’t have time!” But what is my priority, my ‘other side’ asked?  My left and right brains argued it would slow me down, and I wouldn’t achieve as much.  It would mean I have to engage more with people, that I have to open my heart and see people, really see them in that moment.  It would mean I would see suffering, and it would hurt.  It would mean that every interaction I have I would have to stop having it from a ‘me’ perspective, but have it from a them perspective instead.  Again my things to do part of my ego went into a instant panic.  Again, ‘what are my priorities’ kept asking back.  I think I’ve reached a point where it is time to find that balance.  I want more meaningful connections with people, with friends, but that does not change unless I do.

It scares the shit out of me.

So let’s begin.

- Vessentara, A Guide to the Buddhas

This ‘hit’ it on the head for me.  When I regularly meditate flow is so much easier in everything I do, everyday.  I notice an incredible effect on writing when I meditate.  It just flows out almost subconsciously at 1500-1700 words an hour and I feel like it’s someone else doing it for me, yet I know it’s flow.  When I don’t meditate I find it really hard to write.  I can see why Sangharatshika has been able to write 52 books in 45 years.

Meditation is a key to flow.

- Lao Tse

Having a puppy and training it has been an interesting journey.  Kirsty and I got hooked on Cesar Milan’s Dog Whisperer series when living in the UK, and then getting a puppy we’ve powered our way through his books.  The latest, Be a pack leader is a fascinating read.  It brings together so many concepts such as emotional intelligence, leadership, meditation, and balance, it is amazing.  I think it’s a fantastic coaching manual for anyone wanting to have a dog, lead people, or even if you just want more balance in your life.

With this, and other approaches to nutrition, and training I’m really liking how things are going now.  Holistic approaches are now at the forefront, perhaps maybe because the 1990′s and early 2000′s wore everybody out?  Whatever the case, I like this trend, and I like balance.  It’s the Buddha’s middle way after all.

It took a few days to wind down from 2010 and start to think about 2011, and also reflect what was achieved in 2010. Looking back, a lot was achieved, but also a lot to do.  Kirsty and I asked ourselves 16 questions which we asked last year, and compared what we said.  It was an interesting reflection and helped come up with what was important for this year.  The biggest theme that came out for me was consistency and organisation.  When I am consistent and organised I achieve a lot, relax a lot, and enjoy a lot.  When I am unorganized and behind I am grumpy, don’t achieve things and get even more disgruntled!  It’s a negative spiral.  But organisation and staying ahead builds success upon success and is a positive spiral.  And so reading Gwen Bell’s post on systems made me smile, as systems are my middle name.  So when I don’t have them and I am unorganized, everything goes out the window.  Gwen aptly summarized, “The truth is, although I have goals, those matter less than the systems that support them.  And the truth beyond that is the system matters less than the breath that supports it.”

Then Kirsty and I let our lists sit and reflections marinate, and later in the day Kirsty piped up “hey we forgot to ask ourselves the most important question!”  Intrigued I asked, “what?”

“What helps you cultivate happiness from within?”

We each wrote another list, and in doing so compared what we had written with this happiness list.  It was a remarkable ‘light bulb’ moment as many things on each of our initial lists, weren’t on our happiness list, and in doing so we each re-hashed our priorities for 2011.  It became so obvious: it is easy to get caught up in aiming towards things that actually maybe cultural pressures or your own ‘shoulds.’

So with that in mind, consistency is my word for 2011, to enable me to:

Health and Fitness

• Run 10k in 50mins
• Run a half marathon
• Teach the dog to run off the leash with me
• Do as much yoga as running and cycling
• Eat mindfully, and shed 10kg
• Do a cycling event I haven’t done before.  Grape ride?

Community, spiritual and friendships

• Get in a study group at the Auckland Buddhist centre
• Go to regular Sangha nights
• Put myself out there more to invitations
• Meditate everyday
• Volunteer

Gadgets

• 15″ Macbook pro
• Digital SLR

Financial

• Save a good ‘slushie’ for travel and emergencies
• Continue to live within my means
• Increase my income
• Cut up my credit card

Creative

• Finish my new book ‘The Whole Cyclist’ and find a US publisher for it
• Write an E-book
• Design and publish and website for the The Whole Cyclist
• Have a photo exhibition called ‘For the love of coffee’
• Write everyday

Travel

• Go somewhere I haven’t been before (overseas)

In doing what I want to, the most important thing I have certainly lost in ‘things to do’ this last 5-months moving countries and changing jobs, is having fun.  So it is time to have fun, enjoy, achieve and be playful again.

- Jack Kornfield

This is an interesting one to me.  I have seen this many times in myself and others in relationships, or things we do.  An example is having the same ‘problem’ occur in different relationships, until you address the thing that is trying to get your attention.  I’ve seen it a lot in athletes who have had a sticking point, such as confidence in their ability to perform.  I often think cycling or other endeavors such as this are a vehicle to resolve our inner conflicts because cycling in particular is such a physically and emotionally demanding sport.  It forces you to address your inner conflicts or you simply do not achieve what you want to.  Then if you do, pieces of puzzle in the rest of your life fall into place as well.

The question I asked myself was ‘what is most important?’   You can define importance in many ways and so looked at responsibility, passion and also what took most of my time in relation to these.  Some things we may have responsibility for, but are not passionate about, yet they engulf our time.

What takes most of your time?  Is it something you are passionate about?  What are you caught up doing out of habit?  It is so incredibly easy to get caught up in doing something out of habit and it serves no other purpose that keeping the habit going.  We are creatures of repetition, too much so.

By the end of my teens I was so shy I could barely talk to anyone, let alone look anyone in the eye.  I was so uncomfortable in my own skin, I tormented myself with my own judgements.  That was no way to live, but the prisons we can create for ourselves are worse than those created by others.

When I finally fell to the bottom of a dark pit I made a conscious decision that I needed to facilitate my own change and to coin a well used phrase find myself, whatever that means.  Be the change you wish to see in the world Ghandi said.  It all started with my dear flat mate, Mira, introducing me to Buddhism, and then that leading to explorations into happiness: something I knew nothing about, but wanted so much.

What I learnt along the way:

• If you take a risk, the path of least resistance comes to you
• The greatest gift you can ever give to anyone (aside from kindness), is to be yourself, and live your dreams
• The universe, and its people are positive, wonderful and inspiring
• Intention is everything
• We aren’t constant, we are an ever evolving process ready to change and adapt at every second: if we decide to
• We remember experiences, not material possessions
• Sometimes we have to learn to see what is there, instead of what isn’t
• Initiative surpasses talent
• Many small bricks make a building: one step at a time is all you need.  You don’t need to know the whole path, just the destination, and sometimes even then that is not needed
• Osmosis is powerful: be mindful of who you surround yourself with
• We do not need to believe our thoughts
• We are not our thoughts, and we are not our emotions
• Follow your gut, it is always right

What have your most profound learnings been from your past 12-years?

- Zencast 199