Each week our study group at the Buddhist centre has homework, to apply what we learn in the class. At the moment we are studying Know your mind by Sangharakshita. Know your mind is about the teachings of the Abhidharma, or science of the mind. Our homework this week related to the chapter on negative mental states; anger in particular. With this in mind I thought that maybe you would like to participate and perhaps report back if you feel inclined, after the week as we do in our class.
Our homework was to notice when we have active and passive rage or anger. Secondly, notice how we respond when a friend or partner is in rage? This could be at you, or toward someone else.
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Great topic. When I have passive rage I smirk. I make strange faces and I try to convey my anger in ways that are less violent but still just as rageful. I am sneaky with my rage trying to still look good even when I have this rage. I am grateful to recognize it today and when i feel it I do try to surrender it.
When someone else is raging I become very fearful, I guess I am afraid of the emotion. My son has had a problem with rage, but it is getting better. His rage scares me, but I try not to react to it because when i do it gets much worse.
He has gotten better lately and I am not sure why.
I always remind him that I love him no matter what.
Thanks Seamus. It is an interesting topic yeah. There are so many theories around rage. Not being able to be with emotions, or express them. An extension of sadness. Grieving that things aren’t the way we want them to be. All sorts. I think the biggest lesson I have learnt with anger is one day I came home from work very angry. I said to my partner “oh I am so angry!” (with clenched fists, about work, of course!). In a compassionate voice she said “ooo” and promptly hugged me. Her compassion melted my anger in an instant.
Beautiful beautiful story. I wish that we all could deal with anger the way you and your partner did. Imagine world leaders who could give compassion instead of death threats.
Lennon wrote many years ago that all you need is love and it’s so true.
Love and compassion to the rescue.
When I get cranky at the local barista for screwing up my espresso. Maybe it doesn’t have enough crema. I must remember this.
Grazie mille.
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